This Thing Called Fame

A lot has happened in the last 72 days, and trust me when I say ALOT. There is one thing I will forever take with me anywhere, and that is “success has many friends”. To my utmost surprise, people who didn’t see me as someone of value suddenly wanted to be in the same room with me. Everyone wanted a piece. People who I had tried to talk to months ago, all of a sudden, had my time. I have been in rooms with people I didn’t even dream of, and that’s not the most shocking part. The one that surprised me the most was that people who were close to me before big brother suddenly changed towards me. Everyone wanted to work with/for me. All of a sudden, everyone had something to offer, a better idea of how I can do things, who and who to speak to about what and this is how things are done. All of a sudden, I didn't know what to do, or what I was doing anymore. There was also a generally shared perception that I was a changed person. Man do I wish I really changed.

Here’s the crazy part. All of this happened within the first 2 weeks of coming out of the house. Today is day 72 and I still have not fully grasped how different my life is. It's still a shocker when people recognize me. I am still in a transitioning period where I am trying to wrap my head around everything that is going on around me. I recently came back from South Africa, were beautiful, sweet, and genuine people who know me, know my name, know my story, and were warm to receive me. This will still shock me for a while. Only the people who met me at the airport can tell that there was something off about me when I landed in Johannesburg. The truth is, I completely froze when the pilot said we had landed. I immediately thought about a crowded airport with people screaming my name and my anxiety peaked. Someone had to tap me to get up. It was too late. I was already here. I might as well face it. I am super grateful that the SA Islanders understood me and didn’t make the airport welcome exotic. For this, I am forever grateful.

This is the truth of the matter. I am a simple guy. I have always been a simple guy. I thought I could navigate being famous and still go about my simple life, but the truth of the matter is, it is almost impossible to do. Yet anyway. Also considering the platform, I "blew" from. Then when you are loved by so many, where are you hiding? Oga show us more of you, we want to see you. 72 days after, I still ask people who want to take pictures with me if they’re sure they are speaking to the right person. Because this thing still dey burst my head.

I know for a fact that my very reserved nature is not making a lot of people happy. Especially the Islanders. I do not know how else to say this other than, Bear With Me. You all saw me in the house and my process of adapting and adjusting to situations. I don’t know if it is a medical condition, but, it takes me a while. I know some of you will say but time has gone. What is taking so long? Well, the thing is, in the past 72 days, I have not had time to do anything for myself or think things through on my own. It has always been me moving in the direction I am being pulled into. This person wants this. Do that. This group wants this. Don't be unappreciative. This is what this person is doing, you should be doing it too. XYZ, ABC, 123. It hasn’t stopped. Everyone suddenly has a better idea of how I should live my life. Honestly, I appreciate it. Thank you. I am well aware that your thoughts and concerns are coming from a genuine place. I love you all for looking out for me. But, if I am unable to figure things out for myself, by the end of all of this, I will only be a shadow of who you think I am because I will have bent, succumbed, and pulled into so many directions. Fun fact, a minimum of 100 people offer ideas, tips, and suggestions of things I should do - so you can imagine the pressure. I'm not deliberately not reading your messages or ignoring you, I just never know what to say.

The biggest fear and pressure from all of this is trying to satisfy everyone. Whenever anyone sends me a message, they will start by saying, I voted for you, we supported you in the house, so we want you to do this, we want you to do that. We are your fans so we can tell you what to do. When they don’t get a response, it turns to insult. As all of that is happening, there are other people who get worried and translate it to the fans complaining, you aren’t responding, they are leaving you. Which ultimately turns to worry. Tell me this, how many people can I possibly satisfy at the same time? (Yes, there is a pun in there somewhere). These are some of the many things I deal with silently, and honestly, I can only try. I’m not perfect.

Deals, endorsements, bragging rights, all that stuff. I beg you in the name of whatever you believe in. Let us not run faster than our own shadow. I beg you. People didn’t expect me to be in the finals, but, Islanders made sure of it. We made it happen because it was always meant to happen. Whatever will be, whatever will come to Adekunle will always come to him. Delay is not denial. The way I see it, this whole thing shouldn’t be a race or a competition. Everyone is working hard enough to ensure that they remain relevant when the dust settles. In their own capacity and in their own lane. The focus shouldn’t be on comparing housemates or being worried that this person is signing this before that person. This isn’t how it’s meant to be, or maybe I’m not seeing things clearly, I don't know. But I always like to be different. A lot of your faves are actually friends offline, and things like this can pitch them against each other.

Islanders, do you want to be proud and have a reason to brag (even though I don’t support this sha). Give me time. That’s all I can ask for. Time to fully immerse me in the reality that I have an obligation to people and I need to adapt and adjust a little. But I can’t do this if I don’t do this on my own. I posted about one cinderblock at a time. That’s the energy. Getting the foundation right and putting things in place for the possible future. Money will and can always be made.

December is a bit of a tough month for me, and I am trying to take things slow. This time last year, I was on the verge of a mental breakdown. I was in the worst place mentally. For me, it's more of a how time flies. a lot has changed in the past year and I guess I am just reminiscing. Doing this is bringing a few painful memories, there are a few tears here and there because I didn't think things would get better, and here I am. I need to do this for me, for my growth, and my headspace. At the beginning of the best part of my life, unexpectedly - because if anyone should tell me this is how my 2022 will plan out, I no go believe am. Me, Adekunle, Big Brother Naija Season 7 Finalist, the same Adekunle o, LOL and I have you all to thank; The Islanders, for staying with me sturdily, through thick and thin, through evictions and drags, through harassments and false labels and making sure I have the best year yet. My birthday still dey burst my head sha. I don't want to make the same mistakes I made last year, I don't want to feel pressured, I don't want to have to crash mentally and I definitely need to get my anxiety in check. So, I hope you understand my resolve to want to take things slow - it's just for a few days, weeks, LOL. It is all in a bid to be better. Again, thank you for sticking with me. God Bless You.

Welcome to a tunnel vision into what my life is. This thing called fame should inspire us, and not consume us.

Until my next newsletter.