Reflections, Change and What The Future Might Bring

I miss Islanders.

and I saw one response that shocked me. But I wasn’t hurt or downtrodden by it. Instead, I found it funny and thought to myself. Do I need to respond to this person?

I was subtly reminded why I have stayed away from X. Too many bitter and unhappy people want to share the bitterness. But I was also reminded of something. I’m 30 now, and I’m now in a very different space.

Reflections

I remember when I came out of the house and realized I had a fanbase and what that might mean. “Yes!” I got so excited because my goal of wanting to build a community of young people I can always reach out to and maybe even help seemed more realistic. I mean, I didn’t plan for it to happen just then, but then it did. Many months down the line, after towing a new path AND MAKING MANY MISTAKES, I soon (later) realized that preparedness is key.

The Key

I grew up believing that, when one door closes, you go to another building. From the time I could think on my own, I never agreed with the idea that when something fails or doesn’t work out, that’s the end of something. I just always looked ahead and waited for the next opportunity.

Opportunity doesn’t actually come once.

As they made us believe. As a business owner and a creative person, you’d have a lot of stories of failed attempts at something. A new idea, a new approach, a new attempt. And most times, the disappointment hits us harder than we expect, and we let it get to us. But for some reason, I always saw it as an opportunity to learn. I always called it a “lesson fee.” So, every time I failed at something, I always looked for what made that experience different and how I could use that knowledge to be better next time. A beautiful example is my two times on the show. You could see the difference. The second time, I was prepared. I had taken all the lessons from my mistakes the first time, learned from them and when the opportunity presented itself again, I was ready and that was … the key.

I think that “second time” is now.

Islanders - a community of people who shared a passion for a show and fell in love with a stranger and made it their duty to ensure that this stranger stayed as long as he could on the show amidst all the adversities, and even when the show was over; these group of people made sure that their love for this individual didn’t wither and they will be there with him, every step of the way. This group of people are my people. And I am forever grateful for this extended fanmily God has blessed me with.

How Can I Help and How Can I Give Back?

That’s all I started to think about. With all the experiences I’ve gathered in life, how can it serve my people? What can my fame do for as many Islanders as possible? These started to become my everyday thoughts. So, every now and then, when I could, I would help to repost businesses: using my platform. When I felt there was a need to address a certain issue relating to business, I would always offer suggestions. In terms of Personal Growth, what could I do? Maybe periodic Spaces where I share lessons could help. I started to think.

No one will tell you that thinking becomes almost impossible when you’re famous and you have to deal with so much background and foreground noise. Over the next couple of months, I started to get distracted. The plans I had couldn’t be achievable anymore. I had started to fail (and I’m really scared of failure), so I just ran away and ghosted. Ghosted an idea and a goal I had set out to achieve. Forgetting that people were dependent on those things I had started to implement, Adekunle became unserious.

The Realization

I didn’t “really” and fully understand what a fanbase was until I came out of the house the second time. Backstory: a couple of people who once loved me but felt betrayed when I didn’t do what they asked of me made it clear to me that “my fans will leave me.” They said I would fade away, the attention would fizzle out, and I wouldn’t matter anymore. People would move on, when a new season starts, I’ll be left to hang and dry. They were hurting, and they wanted me to hurt, too. Thank God say man no be God. Hurt I was, but unfortunately, they didn’t know one thing about me.

I take failed experiences as a lesson, and I make sure I learn from them for when the opportunity presents itself again, I will be prepared.

So, I started to learn. I thought to myself, how would you build this community if you weren’t famous? My answer was easy. Reach out to everyone. But that would be easier if Islanders weren’t thousands, right? So, what do we do? I can’t be in groups. I had been warned severely, and notifications gave me anxiety. So, what can all my experience provide for me? Just before I left the bank, my KPI had changed to email marketing for the bank. So this could work, “I thought.” I can get everyone on a mailing list and reach out to everyone periodically. A solution seemed at hand. What was next? What to say when you reach out - just keep them updated. Easy right? Little did I know.

There’s freedom of speech, but you’ll get dragged afterward.

Everything I said mattered. Everybody wanted to know. Screenshots will be made, notifications will be on alert. What was he going to say or do next? Wanna be bloggers were ready for me. I learned the hard way.

---

I don’t like controversy. I believe you can get people to talk about you in more positive ways. But the negative attention and press? It’s never been me. If you know me, you’ll know I’m very opinionated, and I think unorthodox. So, my approach to things sometimes shocks people and invokes, well, not quite the reaction you’d expect. So, I started to speak less until I couldn’t speak anymore. What seemed like Adekunle wasn’t serious on the outside was more of “what are they going to say now when I talk”, on the inside. I became too conscious. The fanbase, the people I want to interact with, and the people who want to be updated with me can no longer get a hold of me. Months of silence go by and everyone just moves on. Right? - nope, that’s not the case with Islanders. They will wait. They will be around, albeit silent but they are waiting for when next I come up for air; and even if it’s for a little more, we all get to enjoy those moments.

Bobrisky once said,

This is the year I realized that Bobrisky was right. It started with the hate reducing, the love increasing, and seeing it happen to new people all over again, the dragging finally made sense. What was once a moment of torture for me became a moment of fleeting entertainment. The year is 2024, and Adekunle found out that dragging doesn’t hurt. Here’s how I look at it now: they drag because they’re bored, they drag because they don’t have anything better to do, or they drag because they secretly want to be in your shoes, I get that people drag when they’re triggered but when you don’t trigger, what’s now their excuse? Honestly, I think they drag because they admire/love you (but they might be wrestling with the idea) - secret fans. Like if they drag this now, what exactly will be their excuse? You see, point proven!

The point is, that people who drag you today, can love you tomorrow and everything most times, boils down to passion. Since the day I clocked this, I stopped being afraid of being online anymore. It’s just maturity and brand building that doesn’t make me reply to trolls anymore and lowkey, e dey pain me! LOOL.

Change

2022 and 2024 has been a long time. In the space of these 2years, I’ve grown to weigh 91kg, and I have missed out on so many experiences and moments and missed deadlines on personal goals for myself just because getting better and focusing on work became the new priority.

In The Midst of All This, Life Happens.

I come out of my hole now and then; I see that there’s a new development or things have changed. I’m curious to find out about this new change but also sad that I missed it or wasn’t a part of it. Disappearing has its advantages as well as many disadvantages, but what do I always do with the disadvantages?

I’ve always wanted to keep up with my community much more than I do. I always say the next time will be better, but it doesn’t always turn out to be so. So, I’m hopeful the next time, and the next time, and this next time. Here we are again. This time around, things will be better.

I don’t know if it’s an age thing, but where I’ve gotten to in life now, I’m no longer worried about things I can’t control, and I can’t keep making excuses for things. Opportunity will always come, and preparedness is key. I know what I want to set out to achieve now, and I hope it works, but if it doesn’t work out, I’ll have learned something, and I will try again and again and again until I figure it out. This is what I’ve learned in the many months of this year that I have been away and rather quiet on the internet. The price I had to pay.

Lesson Fee

I wanted to learn. I wanted to understand. I wanted to be better. The goal was simple: make fewer mistakes and show up more. Show up for the people who deserve it. The people I set out to help with my platform, the people who can benefit from learning from me, and the many people who want to interact with me and consume the content I put out. All of these people are integral parts of who I have become, and finding a way to be there for everyone and myself has now been added to my list of personal goals.

You all met me as a banker and saw the serious side of me. Then discovered I was creative. Found out about my clothing line and textile business, and then I unveil the political side. From there, we go into business. Shortly after I introduced you all to a writer (something that I’m pretty good at, apparently), the next thing I’m creating content, and then I appeared on TV as an actor? Next thing I’m going to film school, and then I go quiet.

I want to say something to everyone who seems to be in a phase right now where they’re trying to figure things out, and they seem to be pressured. Look, the only pressure should come from not figuring out the answer faster. But the truth of the matter is if the journey requires you to keep going, don’t stop yet. I spent all this time trying to find where I would fit in in this very chaotic and new industry. Guess what? I don’t fit in. I’ve tried, but I just don’t, and you know what? It’s not a bad thing.

I didn’t fit in the bank, and it led me to the show. I didn’t fit in on the show, and it led me to find my path. It’s okay if you don’t fit in; it just means you’re meant to stand out. As my name Adekunle translates, the crown (my presence) will fill a room. And when one door closes, I will go to another building. At this very point, I am comfortable with where I am. I can see the vision, and I can best describe it - from the perspective of a kite.

What The Future Brings

Let me give you an analogy.

Let’s say there is a little kid, a talented little kid who just wants to make things in his own time but finds it hard to because there is always going to be some distraction. This little kid finally gets it together, and he makes a (for referencing sake) a kite. Now, he’s excited and ready to fly this kite. (let’s imagine that the kid represents us, and the kite is our gifts and talent). But along the way, this little kid meets obstacles and hurdles, and he trips. Losing his kite. (This is almost a moment many of us can relate to, we fall short of our goals in life, and we just feel like we have lost it all, so we stay on the floor). We somehow forget that it’s never really about how we start but what we do along the way. If we can look into the future and picture what we hope to achieve, we might just be able to find the inner strength to reach out and grab what was lost, in this case, a kite flying up, and connect back to that little kid who was excited about starting the journey. - and if the kite is lost, you have learned from your mistakes, and you are now experienced and you are now prepared to make another … kite.

In the coming days, I will be sharing what the future brings - a new phase of my life and the journey I have decided to embark on. This is a very special moment for me, as I’ve contained the excitement for too long, and I’ve been waiting patiently for this day - when dreams become reality. I want to say thank you to every single one of you, and everyone out there who kept their love for Adekunle alive, even during all the months of having nothing to “brag” about, it’s that love that served as my major driving force to keep going. As we go into the new month and approach a new year, Adekunle turned The Barbecue Man, turned BadBoyDeks steps fully into his role as a DIRECTOR and FILMMAKER.

The future is yet unpredictable, but I’m prepared for what may come, and if this new year is a new year of fortune and grace and many successes, I will be a part of it. And as many people as I can help along the way, I’ll make sure we go on the journey together.

To new experiences, hopeful adventures, mistakes to be made, and lessons to be, but also to rewards that will be granted and the good fortune that will be shared. This is a start to something new, and Matthew 19:26.

Yours truly,

Deks.