I Can Explain

Hi guys. I’m sorry for hiding. We learn from our past and dey don too yab me for wetin no concern me in the past, so subconsciously, I’ve gotten weary.

I woke up feeling at peace and unburdened. I had the sudden urge to forgive everyone who had wronged me, reach out to people and bury the hatchet, even unblock most of the people I had blocked. But I’ve also learned that it is possible to forgive and heal in silence, and from a distance is also a different form of self-care and healing process. 

I feel like I’ve been underground for too long. I haven’t come up for air in a minute and it’s affected my outlook on life. From January till this period, I’ve spent an unhealthy amount of time on work, personal development, and growth. So much so that without a shadow of a doubt, anything that seemed to disrupt my energy or have the inclining of a downward mindset or attitude, I am very quick to shut it out of my life. My goodness, I have grown. What ultimately happened was, that I spent so much time focusing on myself, getting busy, and putting plans in place I failed to realize all the other things in my life it was affecting.

First of all, I have gotten so much better at being quiet. I don’t see the need to offer an explanation anymore. Especially in a situation that was grossly misconstrued and anything or anyone that simply came from a place of not understanding, I just shut the person out. It took me getting to the point of coming up for air to realize “Oh shit”, you actually can’t do that. 

-explanation-

Adekunle Gold’s song, The Life I Chose was on repeat for a long time and it ultimately drummed in a reality check. You can’t keep doing things the way that’s comfortable for you, because, like it or not, your life has changed and this is the life you chose. While I also understand that I don’t need to get sucked into it, a fine and healthy balance of everything is key.

Being underground and working on things only you understand, should be enough reason to cut others some slack and see it from the point that they just don’t understand and you (I) aren’t making things any easier by also not explaining. 

I feel bad for a lot of things that have happened, quite frankly, and while I don’t intend to dwell on the past, I believe in just focusing on doing things better now. My interaction with the Islanders essentially brought this to light. A group of people who love me unconditionally; who just want to be updated and keep up with me have (to an extent) suffered (being kept in the dark) from me being underground. It’s hard to explain where my head is at right now, but I can say that I realize that being private and isolated doesn’t work with being a public figure with a dedicated fanbase and this is something I have to personally work on. To the people who require certain things from me, I also have to be willing to meet them in the middle.

I’m too focused on the future and want things to be near perfect. My greatest weakness, as it is my strength, is my ability to create and adapt. No situation can be too uncomfortable for me, I will find a way around it and whenever I feel stuck about a situation, I always create a solution to take me out of this. This kind of limits me from execution, because if you know anything about creating, it’s a vortex that just keeps swallowing. 

I can’t tell you the amount of ideas I have and the things that are in the pipeline to be implemented, but at the same time, I can’t do everything at once, and everything I want to do. I’m not used to working with people and I believe everything will happen at its appointed time. All of these things are things I’ve come to realize can be a bit of a deterrent and coming out of my comfort zone and being more prudent will be the way to go.

Take this newsletter for example, this was something I was excited about 2years ago and it was a way for me to keep up with you guys. But because of a situation that eventually marred the newsletter experience for me, I didn’t want a repeat of it and I just stayed away. I created an alternative solution and avenue to communicate - Snapchat and the newsletter suffered for it.

Well, I’m done being underground. My book is finished (finally finally), and I’ve started an extended film course for a few weeks to start to build the foundation for the rest of my life. I posted it on X. You can check it out here

While I understand that sometimes, it’s always a case of just doing things, you never know what might click, I’ve always believed in planning properly and then executing. I’ve never really believed in luck personally, but time has also made me realize that preparations can always meet opportunity and it’s always good to be ready. So I’ve just been preparing. I might be slow, slower than most. My ways may not even seem clear to understand. I’ve seen comments where people seem frustrated with me because I simply ‘don’t care or do what others are doing’ but the truth is, no one wants me to succeed more than I want me to succeed and I can only ask that you forgive my slowness, trust the process and believe in God’s time.

In the meantime, I debuted in Nollywood, that’s if you don’t already know. You can catch up, and watch it here

The next phase I’m about to enter is going to be different and new to me. Exciting and daring but also scary. I wanted you guys to be the first to know and I guess wish me luck, oh by the way, when I’m introducing myself now, it’s, my name is Adekunle, a media personality, a filmmaker, and occasionally, I write poetry for hopeless romantics.

While I want to say until next time, don’t be a stranger.

Deks.